Stressed woman working at the computer bitting on the pencil

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What are coping mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are thoughts and or behavior we can use to deal with stress, challenging circumstances, or just life in general.

One thing is for sure in our daily lives is change. So whether it is positive or negative, either way, that change can be quite stressful and we should use healthy coping mechanisms to deal with it.

Example…

Let’s say a boss or your coworker is being rude or unreasonable…

Instead of exploding or being rude yourself, you can use some simple coping strategies like deep breathing, counting to ten, or even taking a short walk to calm yourself and think.

Simple coping mechanisms can help you approach the situation rationally and maintain emotional control.

Healthy vs Unhealthy coping mechanisms

It may be tempting to seek things that provide immediate relief when we find ourselves in stressful situations however many of those things have negative long-term effects. It’s much more productive, especially in the long run to use healthy and positive coping mechanisms.

Healthy Coping Skills

Generally speaking, healthy coping mechanisms may lack instant gratification but provide long-lasting positive outcomes. They provide relief from stress and/or intense emotion without detrimental effects and generally improve the situations and one’s state of mind.

Some common positive coping skills:

a woman sitting with a smile meditating and doing a breathing technique

Exercise Doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or grueling, a simple walk can do wonders for you. Taking a short walk can help relieve stress and regular exercise can help your body handle stress in general, so win-win.

Breathing techniques In times of stress, our breathing can become irregular or we can hold our breath altogether trying to get through a stressful scenario. That can make matters worse and increase our stress level. Instead, try employing a breathing technique, or simply taking some deep, long breaths.

Meditation is not only an effective coping skill but also an excellent healthy daily practice. There are many guides and videos out there teaching you to meditate, or it can be as simple as sitting comfortably and practicing some deep breathing and blocking out any intrusive thoughts.

three friends talking to each other and laughing

Talking to friends or family: talking to your support network of family and friends or simply hanging out and spending time in a social setting with the people you love can have major benefits.

Practicing a hobby Making time to practice a hobby that you truly enjoy can be a wonderful coping mechanism. Not only a great way to relieve stress and elevate one’s mood it’s also a great way to practice self-care.

Unhealthy coping skills

Unlike healthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy ones may feel great in the moment but have no long-term effect on the problem at hand. These strategies provide only temporary relief and are easy to execute, but can have negative physical, psychological and mental consequences.

Some examples of common unhealthy coping mechanisms:

Social withdrawal/isolation: At times keeping your distance might feel like a healthy option but humans are social creatures and even though some relationships need healthy boundaries isolating yourself from your social circle can have major negative consequences.

Overeating/Binging: Eating is a necessary part of our daily routine but engaging in overeating or stress eating can have negative long-term consequences not only on our physical well-being but also on our emotional and mental state.

Overspending/impulsive spending: Treating yourself once in a while or a bit of shopping therapy can be a pleasant thing, but as a coping mechanism can lead to a variety of problems such as chronic overspending, financial strain, stress, and even hoarding.

Gambling: as a coping mechanism can be quite problematic. As a rush of excitement wears off can lead to regret, guilt, and stress. Not to mention the long-term financial strain.

Alcohol/drug use: Although can provide temporary relief, after the effects fade the problem is still there. Can also lead to addiction and severe health issues.

Importance of coping skills

A well “stocked” coping skill toolbox is very important in order to have a healthy and more productive daily life. There are countless benefits to developing our coping skills on daily bases.

Positive Outlook – With good coping skills comes better emotional control and stress management. Generally, this sense of control can lead to an overall more positive outlook.
Control Emotions/Impulses Coping skills are valuable tools to help maintain control over your emotions and impulses.
Manage/Reduce Stress Coping skills can certainly help manage and reduce stress. Having tools to navigate through challenging situations on daily basis, can significantly reduce stress.

More productive outcomes Being able to manage your stress level and emotional response in challenging situations can result in more productive outcomes.

Resilience Using positive coping skills on the regular basis will improve one’s resilience in the face of daily stressors and challenges.

Better knowledge of yourself Using coping mechanisms one can develop better control over one’s emotions and also improved knowledge of oneself. The self-discovery needed to develop a coping mechanism toolbox can prove to be very useful in a day to day life.

How many coping skills do you need?

There is no rule that states “ you need x coping skills to thrive” but generally the more you have in your “tools box” the better!

Different coping mechanisms will work in different situations and sometimes you might need several at a time. So a well-stocked coping skill “toolbox” is definitely a plus!

Discover which ones are right for you and in which situations and keep in mind that a coping skill might work in a particular situation and might not for a different one.

Witch ones are right for you?

Generally speaking, it’s very useful to have a variety of coping skills.

You never know what will work best in what situation, so it’s best to have options.

What works for one person might not work for you even if all your friends swear by it and that is perfectly normal.

It’s also important to note that a coping mechanism could work well for you one day and not help on another day. With practice, through trial and error, you will figure out what works for you and when!